Rain in the night, and now jewels shine on the leaves of the loropetalum in the light of the pole lamp that’s still lit at nearly 6:20 am. Cloudy day yet, and cool-wet. Cool enough that I turned off the fan, then turned it back on in defense against mosquitoes. The lavender plant died; I have never been able to keep them going and decided that enjoying one a couple of months, then getting another is far less stressful and a better use of my energy.
The world with all the advertising and, my word, the mass of paper and emails that comes to me–does everyone and his neighbor think I want to, or have time to, read those long two page letters explaining why I should buy their insurance, or phone, or give to their cause? The world puts forth this idea that human energy is unlimited.
This is not true. Some of us may have more energy than others–I’m in the low category–but everyone has their limits. I’m learning to accept my limitations and live within them. The wisdom of Paul comes to me: “‘for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor. 12:9 ESV)
It comes to me that a step further is to embrace my limitations–the same thing as accepting and enjoying myself just as I am, someone who prefers writing and reading to cleaning house.
Now, how to get in the writing on my novel today? I have some important paperwork to fill out, and writing cannot come before that, and taking my mother to her doctor appointment, have to do that. What else can I cut out? It is a process, this learning how to spend my energy and time. I will somehow get in an hour of writing; I promise myself this.
What do I really want? That is the key. We will do what we really want to do, if we let ourselves believe this is the primary purpose of our lives.
Have a great day doing what you really want to do!