I received a sweet message from my friend, Brenda Miller, wanting to know where I was, because I had not blogged in so long. A full month since I’ve been here, and a busy month. We had a precious visit from family on the Matlock side, lots of time sitting on the porch, and picking up pecans and cracking them. Pecan season has come and just about gone. We got a pretty good harvest, despite the drought.
There was before that the email-hacking, and that had set me off kilter. I was on internet-stress already. (Do you think that’s a new disease of modern times?) Then my mother became ill and required attention. We are the sandwich generation, with a parent on one side and grandkids on the other. There were multiple fun fall festivals (aka Halloween for our generation), and after that weekend, I was ready to collapse.
Fall has come in, almost gone now, too. Of course, we don’t get the color of you Northern gals, but we do get a softly changing season.
The sweet olive tree has blessed, and amazed, us by blooming three more times in the past four weeks.
And today we harvested our satsuma oranges from trees planted just the past spring. Ah, the sweet citrusy scent brings back memories of the tangerines we would always find in our Christmas stockings.
Between caring for grandkids, my mother, and life on earth in general, I have scant time and mind for my writing, and what time there is I focus on my new book project. In these weeks I’ve finished the first third, as well as synopses for 3 books of a new series, all submitted to my agent for her review. Meanwhile, I press on. I’ll tell you, if there’s nothing else you can do, just keep on going in the general direction you hope for. It was E.L. Doctorow who said: “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” This is true of life, too.
I keep writing. I would really like to have the entire book finished before submitting to a publisher. I want the freedom. I want to practice writing as a discipline that hones my craft, helps me understand more about me, builds my confidence and nourishes my creativity.
I hear the question: How can you need more discipline for all that after over thirty years of writing and over thirty books published? Haven’t you got it down yet?
No.
Coming back to this blog I’m facing a lot of things that have troubled me in the past month–my lack of energy, being torn in a thousand directions in a life as wife, daughter, Nana, friend, chief cook and bottle washer. I want to find my place, and I feel like I do, and then slip promptly off again. This is my life.
So, just for today, I’ve come here again, the writing bringing me back, as it always does. I’m grateful to be helped along by friends like Brenda…and by Napkinwriter Sue, who wrote a great post ‘Stuck’ all about ways to get unstuck…and Carol, who so generously hosts the Garden Bloggers Bloom Day each month. Drop over to May Dreams Gardens and check out the other posts by creative gardeners and writers.
Blessings,
CurtissAnn
Curtiss Ann Matlock 
Pingback: Weekend Highlights – Noteworthy Articles by Fellow Bloggers – Nov 26, 2011 « Granny's Parlour
So true. Your commentary applies beautifully to life in general. So often we mistake being stuck with an indication that we are going in the wrong direction altogether, when in fact the problem is not the direction, but a momentarily reduced ability to see far down the road. We think that not seeing the goal means it cannot be reached. In reality, it only means that it is around a perfectly smooth and necessary curve, or the road is longer than we expected. Yet there is so much more experience to acquire along the way, that we might regret reaching the goal at the end of a short journey with fewer opportunities to build memories, and character, along the way.
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Oh, my, my, Miss Granny– what a gift of wisdom you give me! Thank you. I needed to hear your truth today, this minute. I’m going to be pondering it.
CurtissAnn
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You just truly AMAZE me! Your SELF, your Life and your writing and your staying true to your writing while answering the hard questions.
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Oh, Sue, you sweetheart! Thank you for sharing your gift of encouragement with me! Hugs, CurtissAnn
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If you are harvesting anything, your life is good! The oranges and pecans sound like a wonderful Christmas salad we used to have every year. And I can hear a soft southern drawl saying “picaaaahns”, not pee-cans those are containers old people put beneath their beds at night!.
Amidst all the duties, be sure to take some time for yourself. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way that your Mama is on the mend!
Hugs from Texas!
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Oh, darling Nola! You give me a LOL moment with pee-cans. So I had to run downstairs and ask Mama what she calls them. She’s a genuine old South lady from the Carolinas. She said, “Pe-cans.” I have no idea why I pronounce them pecaahns, but I do. And our grandson has shortened it to simply, “‘cahn.” Sending bigs hugs back, sweet friend! CurtissAnn
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Tea Olive and Sasumas, food for the soul.
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Aah, that was balm to my spirit. I, too, always have trouble writing. I think it shall always be so, and I’m often torn in every direction. Still, that is my life. I’ve been thinking often of you and wondering how you’re faring. I miss talking to you on the phone so I’ll pick it up this morning and call. Hugs and kisses.~~Dee
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Dearest, I think of you so often. How funny to think that you have trouble writing. You write so well, and see with such clarity. The more clear we can see our thoughts, the easier the writing. Which I believe is so often my trouble, and yes, with acceptance comes peace. My process is my process. Sending love, CurtissAnn
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